Cartoon alpaca Cole Palmer is a unicorn in this world inventing moments of pure pleasure | Barney Ronay

Much like Central Cee, the Chelsea attacker is a distinct presence and right now is perhaps the only truly creative English player out there

This week Central Cee launched his new Premier League song, called The Team. It owes its existence to a youth-centred, fist-bumping corporate tie-in with Coca-Cola, the press release for which appears to have involved a man in golf-casual clothing frowning at his computer screen for half an hour before typing “cool urban street words, what are?” into the AI search box, then nipping off for a quick brain-bowl strategy lunch with Roger from the Bluesky Synergy hub.

The song is really good, because Central Cee is really good. He’s super-smart with words, funny and snappy, but also surprisingly tender and raw.

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